woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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