I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
