They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
