so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
splinters make it hard to masturbate
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
