Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
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