Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
