I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
