shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I smell stomach acid.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
