had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
