Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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