gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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