Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
