I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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