Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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