A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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