Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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