i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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