Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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