i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize