I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
