I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I bet he comes in French.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize