he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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