You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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