you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
