He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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