Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Randomize
