This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I want to walk on stilts...naked
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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