And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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