threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
