omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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