I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Randomize
