Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
