Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
