Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
