Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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