Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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