The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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