So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I want a musical about memes.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
