like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
