i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
