just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
