I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
