That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Randomize
