You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize