Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize
