Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
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