I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Randomize
