You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Randomize
