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getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
