Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
