so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
