He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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