oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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