Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I checked into jail on foursquare
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
As shirtless as possible
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize
