you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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