I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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