She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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