Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
