we have officially lost it.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
