Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
