you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
sarcasm needs its own font
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Randomize
