Umm I'm too high to move.
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
