Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
We were destined to go to rehab together
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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