I hope mine doesn't look like that
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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