We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
