guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
