I love black thongs
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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